In December, I had settled happily on my One Little Word for 2015 (Explore). As January rolled around though, that word didn't feel like it quite fit. It seemed limited. I started thinking about what I wanted to invite into my life right now. I had had some success with my 2013 word (Focus) - helping to find what was important to me as I worked through the monthly prompts (Ali Edwards One Little Word class). In 2014, my word was "embrace" where my goal was to live my life more fully, and it was the perfect fit for my year.
What I see next is a need to live my life deliberately. I like the idea of taking ownership of what I do, and where I am at in my life. I like the idea of CHOOSING my attitude and my life actions.
Lately I'm beginning to find that I should be the one behind the wheel...Lately, I'm beginning to find that when I drive myself, my light is found - Incubus
As I think of my word, there are quite a few things that comes to mind.
I choose to eat healthier. This means drinking more water (not just thinking about how I need to drink more water). This means healthier snacks and less junk. Hello hummus and sliced sweet red pepper (although I choose NOT to give up my ice cream).
I choose to do yoga every day - even if it's only 15 minutes. I tend to be an all or nothing person with working out. If I can fit in the full 30 minutes on the treadmill, or find the time to make it all the way around the lake, then I do nothing. After discovering a Yoga app for my iPad, this has already proven to be very doable.
I will choose how my time is spent. This is two-fold for me:
- No complaining when I don't have time to do the things I want. I am choosing how my time is spent. I choose my priorities. If something is not a priority for me, I can usually choose not to do it. If I choose to go down the rabbit hole of Pinterest, for example, that is a choice I am making - a choice not to have time for something else.
- I can be proactive about how I choose to spend my time. If I choose to go on adventures with the kids, I am choosing that time - it's important to me. I choose to make relationships a priority - friendships, Ryan, the kid, family.
I choose how to spend my time.
I choose what is important to me.
I acknowledge that I don't get to choose everything. No one does. There will always be things outside of my control. However, my day is made up of my choices. When I have a bad day, I can choose how I react to it. I may lose my temper and yell about something that 5 minutes later seems so trivial and stupid - I can dwell on it or I can apologize and move on. I can choose to do better next time. I can choose my battles. I choose (with Ryan) the rules in our house. I choose to enforce them, even when it would be so much easiser to not do so.
Another thing I struggle with is my choice to work outside the home. I like my job. I am good at my job. I believe that, in the end, I am a more whole person because I choose to be employed in a position and industry that I love. It's hard, being away from my two favorite little people in the world. In the end, though - I choose this, and have a myriad of reasons that I do so. In additional to my own personal fulfillment, my income allows for us to do many things that we might not afford to do. Things I want for our family - broadened experiences and fuller lives. Trips on our own or as a family. Summer camps and memberships to cool places such as the Science Museum. When I struggle with my choice to be a working mom, I need to remind myself why I choose the life we have.
My life is less than perfect, but I have yet to meet someone with a perfect life. I choose how I deal with the good and with the bad. I choose to focus on the positives in my life. I choose to look forward to what is next for me.
I will embrace my choices - with their benefits and consequences. They are mine.